How to Change Another Person’s Life
Photo by Eternal Sunshine
There is a very easy way to change another person’s life, and it involves doing nothing directly or intentionally for them.
Recently on PickTheBrain I published two stories by Stephen Hopson from Adversity University that illustrated the profound and lasting impact a single person can have on our life. In these stories, Stephen shared how a teacher who belted out “THAT’S RIGHT STEPHEN!” gave him the confidence to overcome his insecurities related to being a deaf schoolboy. Very often, as was the case in Stephen’s stories, the person who changes us does not even realize the positive and profound impact they have had. Why? Because they have not done anything directly and/ or intentionally for us. Rather, they have simply been living their own life in such a manner that we can’t help be changed for the better.
Today I would like to tell you about two people in my own life who have left a lasting positive impact on me. These two people were only in my life for 6-12 months, but I will never forget them because they both continue to inspire me to be a better person and get the most out of life.
A Thirst for Life
In my late teens and early twenties I coasted through life, going to university, working, and partying. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great period of my life, but something was missing. Looking back, I think this something was a passion for life.
At the end of 2003 I finished university and a week later I jumped on a plane to come to Canada. I ended up in a small town in the Canadian Rockies called Banff, a place I still consider to be the most beautiful spot on this planet. Soon after arriving I was working in food and beverage for one of the town’s resorts. It was here that I met Ben (name changed), who was the Food and Beverage Manager.
Ben had a thirst for life that I had simply not encountered before. In his early fifties, Ben was fanatical about the outdoors, in particular skiing. At the time I was just learning to ski, so I loved to listen to Ben’s skiing tips and stories from the snow.
Ben was determined to squeeze every last drop of fun and excitement out of life. I thought to myself: “I not only want to live with that much passion now, I want to be living with that much passion in 30+ years time.” Simply by living a passionate and energetic life, Ben showed me that I could approach life in a similar manner.
The Nicest Person You Will Ever Meet
It was 2006, and I was back in Perth working full-time in finance and banking. It was here that I met Adam, who to this day sticks in my mind as perhaps the most genuinely nice person I have ever met.
Adam was the type of person that you just couldn’t help but like. He would go out of his way to help you, and when you talked to him you felt like the most important person in the world. He had the friendliest telephone manner of anyone I have ever known, and at least a couple of times each day I would overhear him laughing and chatting with clients on the phone who, 5 minutes earlier, he had never have spoken to before.
He didn’t stay in the job long - 6 months at the most. However, it was no surprise that on his final day everyone from our department (100+ people) turned out to say goodbye to him.
Food for Thought
The lesson to take from these stories then is this: by simply living a life where you are happy, passionate, genuinely nice, etc you can change the life of people you come into contact with. Still to this day when I pick up the telephone at work I think of Adam, talking on the phone to clients as if they were his best friend in the world and nothing was too much trouble. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone thought of you this way?
Is there someone special who has touched your life? Feel free to share your stories in the comments 
If you are interested, the two stories by Stephen Hopson mentioned at the start of this article are:
27 Comments
March 17th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Thank you for sharing these two stories Peter. I will have to think about this and may write something about it on my site. Thanks again…
Todd
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March 17th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
There is a phenomenon known to people who study monkeys and apes. It is known as synchronicity. In other words, as one gathering of apes on one island make a breakthrough, for instance, in learning to wash their food, it has been observed that apes on an island separated by miles spontaneosly begin doing the same thing. The implications for humans doing this is clear, leading to the spiritual
theory that we should mind our own business of coming to terms with our environment and the problems that arise and the solutions required by those problems. The answer to the question, ” How can I help others to change their lives?”, To me, is clear. This is all based on the oneness of life and the spiritual reality that there is, in fact, no real separation between us. The spiritual reality transcends
the physical experience. So if you would change lives, then attend to the one method that is ordained and that works without people interfering with each others free agency.
All problems in our world are, in fact caused by people interfering in
each others business.—Doug Rosbury
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March 17th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
You never know how much just your example can influence someone else. There have been many people in my life that influenced me greatly that didn’t do anything intentionally to do it, they were just being themselves. Great stories. =)
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March 17th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Peter - Great article! It is truly amazing how a single person can have such a dramatic influence on one’s life. I remember a professor in college that gave me some advice that was profound for me at the time. I went to him because he was an advisor in the school of business. I was an engineering major and I was struggling. I was ready to change my major to his program. He told me that if I could pass in engineering even just barely that I would be better off if I stuck it out. This was not what I expected or wanted to hear. I was looking for an easy way out. His honesty and candidness shocked me. He should have been recruiting me. It would have looked better for his numbers, but instead he gave me honest advice that has proven valuable in my life. I did stick it out in engineering and graduate. I don’t even know the man’s name. I was too stunned at the time to write it down. However, the memory is vivid for me and I owe him a debt of gratitude.
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March 17th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Dear Peter,
I don’t mind telling you and your readers that in my 29 years, I’ve had more therapy than most people ever have in their entire lives. Did it help? Some. It helped with the grief a little bit, yes. But what we (the therapists and I, that is) didn’t realize, is that my limiting beliefs about myself, combined with my grief, was causing me to turn away business, effectively sabotaging all the work that my husband and I were doing to walk the entrepreneurial path. It took a conversation with David Neagle, who’s now my mentor, to uncover the fact that I was turning away business because I didn’t want to ask this world for any more money. That single conversation transformed my life, and I haven’t looked back. In the interest of full disclosure, I now travel as part of David’s events team, as does my husband. I hope that doesn’t take away from this story, but I thought it was important to be honest. I never would have imagined that my life could be this rich, and I will be forever grateful to David for his guidance.
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March 18th, 2008 at 1:50 am
hey excellent post! When I was a teen a cousin in the family became my mentor and invested time with me. He also introduced me to a community of friends, many of those same friends are still in my life today. Taking the time to invest in someone else surely goes a long way. Trust me, I’ve seen the difference!
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March 18th, 2008 at 3:17 am
Great post, Peter. It is true that the most beautiful thing you can do for yourself, your community and the planet is to be your highest shining self.
I thought you might enjoy this quote from Osho:
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March 18th, 2008 at 5:02 am
I like this post a lot. It reminds me the importance of living well myself — for myself and possibly for people around me.
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March 18th, 2008 at 8:00 am
[…] links + Download the artist’s survival kit here + How to change another person’s life Related […]
March 18th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Peter:
Thank you for mentioning those two stories I wrote for PTB about the impact my fifth grade teacher made on my life. I’m on a mission to spread that story around the world, reminding people that there are angels among us (including ourselves) who can cause a powerful ripple effect in other people’s lives.
I was particularly touched by the stories you shared (Ben and Adam). The story of Adam reached me the most because as I was reading about him and the impact he made, I saw myself. I can understand why so many people would turn out for a man like that. He was the “nicest guy” but he was not a pushover. Right?
In other words, nice guys can finish at the top.
Thanks for sharing Peter. It was an enjoyable read not just because you mentioned me but because the article had much value in reminding people the importance of reaching out and touching other people’s lives. I especially appreciated how you shared your own stories - that always makes it fun to read instead of a boring list of “How To’s” that seem to be all over the Internet these days.
Stories like yours rock!
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March 18th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
By the way, I forgot to add that I also enjoyed reading everyone’s comments, especially Erin’s because of her honesty and transparency. I just want to say to her that the fact that she’s now an event director/manager for David Neagle does not in any way diminish the power of her story. In fact, I think it was a divine miracle to end up in such great company the way it happened!
It inspired me to keep dreaming, keep believing because miracles do happen. Like how I won the recent video competition where I had to submit a 2 minute video about my most life changing moment. I was up against 200 other video entrants and I won! So miracles do happen.
Just keep believing……
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March 18th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Peter:
Right, I know what you mean about people who are “painfully nice.” I sensed that Adam was a solid person inside. I love people like that. Makes me feel good to be around such a person. I’ll bet you’re like that too Peter.
Yes, indeed, I’ve noticed how the title of your articles tend to mirror the title of your blog - indeed, it’s a cool way of staying consistent with your theme, hmmm?
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March 18th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Many of us want to see change in the world, and imagine how we can contribute to that change, how we can influence others.
Thanks for the reminder, that in the end, our greatest power to influence comes from who we are, as we live, everyday.
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March 19th, 2008 at 3:42 am
Peter,
I can share great American story of my own. I came here on student visa in 1990. I had $20 when I arrived in America and one friend who gave me shelter at Penn State campus for few days. In those few days, I walked everyday and asked for work. I met a small Pizza store owner Tom, who graciously allowed me to work for him and when he found out that I was struggling with shelter, he offered me to stay with him until I can afford an apartment on my own. I’ve come long way since then and have built successful business of my own. I own several hotels now but I still consider him as my father in this country. He is part of my life forever…
Shilpan
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March 20th, 2008 at 12:28 am
This article is so inspiring! I too have an inspiring moment in my life that sticks to me just like it was yesterday. My best friend in middle school once said to me “If you do not believe in yourself, who will?”. This has always made me realize my potential and has been an inspirtation to me since the day he said it. It has stuck with me through out my life and I think it is so good that I have even made it my tag line on Juice of Champions. Keep inspiring Peter, your great!
http://www.JuiceofChampions.com
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March 20th, 2008 at 5:10 am
I really like your friend’s quote. “If you do not believe in yourself, who will?” Awesome!
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March 20th, 2008 at 6:13 am
I love this article, what a difference we could make if we could all just change the life of one person.
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March 21st, 2008 at 8:25 pm
[…] by Example How to Change Another Person’s Life So You Want To Become a […]
March 25th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
[…] minds of what their lives will look like in the future. I think this is a powerful way that one person can make a significant difference in the life of a child. Of course, even as adults it can mean a lot when someone expresses […]
March 25th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
What idea did my Costa Rica article give you…??
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April 6th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I have worked in education all my life and this gives you an ideal platform for doing exactly what you have described. So many teachers I meet fail to see this - to me, it’s the most important thing. Not doing anything in particular, just showing that you care, being there for the kids, setting an example.
http://effortless-wealth.blogspot.com
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