What I Would Tell My 15 Year Old Self
Jason from A Miracle A Day has tagged me to write on the topic of what I tell my younger self if I had the opportunity.
Life today is a lot different to when I was in my mid-teens. Whilst angst seems to be a mandatory stage in every teenagers life, I suffered from what I now recognize as serious depression. I was an outcast as school, I did a lot of stupid things, and I hated both myself and life in general.
You could say that I experienced the sour during these years, which is perhaps why life tastes so sweet today. In this sense, my experience really has made me the person I am today. I have no desire to change the past, but I do hope that some teenagers out there who are confused, angry or depressed find some value in this article. So then, here are 5 pieces of advice I would tell my younger teenage self:
Stop Worrying
I honestly can’t believe how much I used to worry. I worried about what people thought of me, that I would never have sex, what people were saying about me, that I was ugly….. you get the idea. I have since learned that all of this worry was unnecessary. That’s right, all of it.
Be True to Yourself
Being a teenager is tough. It is a stage of your life where you are trying to find your place in the world, and yet there are so many pressures to act or think in a particular way.
I made the mistake of trying to be a person I thought others would like. I honestly tell you that this didn’t work. Apart from not being true to myself, people saw through my charade. Be true to yourself, and you will discover who your true friends really are.
Treat Others How You Would Like To Be Treated
A few of the knuckle draggers at high school took it upon themselves to make my life tough between years 10 and 12. But guess what? In turn, I too treated some people who were easy targets badly. Looking back, I am extremely embarrassed about I behaved. If you are being bullied or picked on, don’t in turn treat others in this way - it makes you no better than the people bullying you.
Stand Up For Yourself
People react to bullying in different ways. I chose to ignore it, hoping the people responsible would get bored and stop. This didn’t work. Looking back, I wish I had stood up for myself. This may or may not have stopped the bullying, but it would have stopped me from becoming so passive about life. It has taken me some years to reignite the fire within. I wish I had never let it go out.
Your Opportunities Are Endless
I have previously described myself as being on autopilot during this stage of my life. I put little thought in the subjects I chose in school, and I was blind to the many opportunities that were available to me after graduating. It took me some time to wake up to the fact that I didn’t need to follow some predetermined path set down for me by others. Don’t live someone else’s life - follow your own path and live your own life.
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So what would you tell your younger self? I would love hear some peoples’ responses to this question in the comments. In terms of bloggers, I tag Todd from We The Change, Tristan from the Synergy Institute, Santiago from Sivanah, Kevin from Change Your Tree, and Brad from Juice of Champions to participate in this challenge.
Photo by mnadi.
21 Comments
November 28th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Thank you for responding, Peter. I can identify with the second and fourth items… and agree that all of it is good advice.
Thanks for spreading the challenge, too… always nice to read more about this kind of thing that can really reveal a lot about who a person is.
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November 28th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
I agree with you Peter, even if I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything. I would say nothing to my past self because the things that we want to change are generally the ones we feel bad about and those are the ones I learned the most from!
On the other hand I think it’s cool to talk to your future self. I have started to keep a journal so I can track my progress in all areas of development.
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November 28th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Hi Peter,
I just finished reading Jason’s post. Now that you have your list of what you would tell your 15 year old self, the question is how do you get your 15 year old self to listen? How would your life be different if you had this knowledge at 15? I think if I was to tell my 15 year old self the things that I know now, I would hear, but I wouldn’t really understand it until I lived through it. Just a thought on time travel paradoxes.
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November 28th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
To my younger self ;
It’s ok if you don’t have kids. For one thing theres a lot of kids that need attention moms & dads already.
Forgive everyone and let it go. Anger and frustration serve a purpose, but mostly lead to other issues. If you let go you will feel a lot better and be able to move to the next thing. Forgive yourself.
Question everything! If something strikes your curiosity you have a duty to investigate. Do not let the dogma of previous generations stop you. You can probably build it easier, cheaper, and faster. You create your reality, Others do not.
Take advise from many philosophers, throw out the junk you can’t use and keep the pearls that you can. You must remember that the advise too will change because life is dynamic and you must be dynamic vs static, adjust your philosophies accordingly. If religion does not suit you then do not pretend.
Cherish the people that you love, nobody lasts forever.
Get out of your comfort zone and stay out.
Always remember that there are at least 10 solutions to any problem . Sometimes you can’t make things happen, be open to the alternative solution.
Good luck!
I love You
Copyright 2007
all rights reserved
Without predjudice
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November 28th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Isn’t it great to look back and think about your life?
I find it hilarious that high school is such a popularity contest and the minute you graduate, nobody on Earth cares how popular you are.
I think that’s one of the biggest pressures that kids put on themselves. Instead of building self esteem, they build other esteem–it really takes a toll on them for a few years.
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November 28th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Good point by Dark Sociologist - how do you get yourself to listen?
I was a very nervous 15 year old. I’m just glad those days are over
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November 29th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Peter, our past experiences make us grow and I guess without those, we wouldn’t have you and thechangeblog.com today
. That’s something really worth thankful about, isn’t it?
Cheers,
Ellesse
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November 29th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
Hey, Peter… could you do me a favor and head back and tell *my* fifteen year old self those things? We seem to have had life similar teenage year experiences… maybe he’ll listen to you?
Seriously, though… great post. While I wouldn’t change a thing about my past either, since I’m happy about where I am today, the only regret I have is that I did hurt some people along the way.
Thanks for sharing this.
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November 29th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Thanks for the Tag Peter, and very well written. I will do my best and write an article on tihs topic!!
Todd
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December 2nd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
[…] S C presents What I Would Tell My 15 Year Old Self posted at I will change your life . […]
December 4th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
[…] presents What I Would Tell My 15 Year Old Self posted at I will change your life . com. Peter says, “Here are a few things I wish my younger […]
December 6th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Hey Peter, I’ve seen you tagged me
I’ll be finishing the server transfer today (I’m moving to a dedicated server) and will post about what I would tell to my younger self…
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January 1st, 2008 at 6:44 pm
wow…
I am currently 15. My name is Peter. I’m convinced you’re talking to me. Though the way you describe yourself seems kind of like me, but not totally. The worrying and auto pilot really stuck out for me. Everyday seems the same, including all the worries. No more lurking around these forums for me; you’ve proved you’re more than just another blogger.
Well, maybe I’ll register later. I have a history project to work on.
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April 20th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I’m going to say to my younger self to be more adventurous. No regret about my past, but I felt that it’s something important. I am very quiet and shy during my younger years.
Another point I want to say to my younger self is to be more generous. I was a spoiled child, and very very selfish, giving is not in my dictionary. And it troubled me a lot on finding friend.
Anyway, my experience of study abroad and away from my family changed me a lot and I’m really thankful for that!
Cheers,
Robert
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July 28th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
I would tell my 15 year old self the same things…. get out there and be yourself, don’t let people walk all over you. If you have something to say…say it! and do it with conviction. Never try to please everybody… don’t bully weaker people, instead empower them and they will love you for it.
There is always a way to do what you want… don’t listen to people who say “you can’t do it… just forget it and instead do this… or that…) don’t even consider the alternatives unless you tried your best to do what you had originally set out to do….
that’s my take on it…
Benmous last blog post..MLS All-Stars v West Ham
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